begin talking about TAF mission including vernacular about bringing the TA community together. S talking. K brings up lower T immigration rates. H discontinues subject.

Feeling Check / Thoughts:
M: Senior in college, graduating in May. Lot of things on mind, especially at end of college term: relationships with friends and family, need to find a job. HS is easier because you know what youre going to do for the next 4 years, but college is diff, you dont know what youre going to do, its unexpected of you of what you want to do. Maybe grad school? But why?

He: Finishing med school, came because she is out in SF for interviews. You really dont realize how you still keep changing when youre in college or post, you think youre "you" by then, but you do keep changing and its important to keep realizing you do change and to understand who you are/are becoming. Keep re-evaluating. College is really a time to think about yourself and to see if youre doing what you want to do or what your parents want to do and if they match up.

B: Grad in may, just got a job in SF. In this transition, can look back on college and see that it had good times, but also sees there are things he could have changed. Could think about past, present, and future, but they take away focus from each other. Whatever phase in, feels like he is just further from whole (in terms of identity and figuring out who you are). End of college = alot to learn.

C: Grad a long time ago, feel like in danger of making the same mistake in college that is feeling pressure to stay on a certain path. Going through a similar thing now. Tried to get out of college asap, looks back and says maybe not the best idea. Very happy that during college stopped and looked on the path she was on, and realized it wasnt what she wanted to do. Worried that others dont stop.

Ha: Freshman in college, what it came down to choosing a school was SCU or UIUC. UIUC comfort zone, SCU entirely different. Chose SCU because it was new and a bigger step in her life. Very happy she came here, because it caused her to explore more, being thrown into new situations. Was scared, but excited. Talked to parents more whilst out here than while living at home. Felt like she needed a new experience.

Ho: What is the consensus of Youthers now about college?

Ha: We dont want a college program completely disconnected from Youth.

K: what would make you want to join college and NOT staff?

Ha: I dont know...

**Ladies and Gents, thats the reason why were having this weekend, to build a great College program**

Z: College is a way to organize your experiences in college into something more coherent and at the same time as you grow as a person with yourself and relationships to also place yourself within TA community and identity and AA community and identity as a whole...maybe. Important to reflect where you fit in society, to see how getting a specific job helps you more than just yourself and financial reasons. Very general thoughts.

K: finding your place in society is also something i have been thinking about a lot more. where do we fit in todays society, but ALSO where we fit in history maybe. Our choices are heavily influenced by things we dont have control over, but if we were able to realize that then we would be more able to understand our place in the world.

W: Out of college for awhile, senior in the real world. Quick time post college, one of the things that been thinking about recently is hitting that quarter life crisis and the 10 year hs reunion is coming up and no one is big or bad as they thought theyd be. Been in Maryland for 3 years and wants to get out, but not out, so what have i been doing wrong? Here in SF because was PD for TAC EC NGAP program, did a lot of reflecting of why young adults would spend a weekend with him instead of vacationing with friends. Ergo, has some idea or vision of what might be beneficial. Three key points.

1. How to manage oneself and newfound independence: College kids being away from parents and having self control, how to stay motivated and not procrastinate too much, to learn how to say no (time management).

2. how to interact in a positive manner socially and academically and how to empathize with people.

3. how to set goals and make decisions that will guide ones path. Realistic goal setting and cultivating mental playfullness and...

Digital rights management. (no idea what is going on.) Dan Rather. Digital millenium act.

K: so helping campers understand these issues? why not to download?

W: No, to make them aware. along the same lines of understanding racism. well get into it later.

C: you mean different ethical situations that arise?

W: No. tech is changing the ways we work live and play. some issues coming out of that that we should be aware of.

Ho: (says some stuff...i missed it)

Ho: spent past 10 years in juniors so odd that working with College. Just now figuring things out maybe. Realizing that he should help campers out at the other end of the spectrum, college instead of juniors. Is college a place for tafers not ready for staff? For staff? for brand new tafers? No idea whats best. Conclusion is, it doenst matter, i dont care. As long as we fill that void and start something.

College is also paralleling current life with residency. Feels like college is something we can do and accomplish and make it work. Even just getting ideas together. Thats the key.

S: Uncertainty. what do you do after college? drives T parents crazy if you dont seem to have a plan for post college. (im going to let wil take this, S uses big words).

Taking responsibilty for yourself and being ok with uncertainty. And how to live practically.

Amazing has been meeting TA in fields that are uncommon for TA's. now that parents are seeing non engineer lawyer doctor TAs that are successful, then it opens more doors for us(?)

post college life can be lonely. easy to fall into mindless consumerism. (she went to harvard...big words). camraderie is what we need. need accountability.

Z: finds pressure from parents and peers at school to do things like on campus recruiting. but its bad.

N: 3rd year pharm student. at the point where she has to figure out what to do with her life. Knows college programs stigma. our age needs a college group. for those of us on staff, we focus much on our groups, that we dont talk about ourselves and our needs. We need that time. Biggest concern is integration of it, so its not isolated. INTEGRATION. Responsibility and all that but also enjoying it.

Random thoughts:

Ho: college program didnt make sense to be tight with juniors like it once was for swing choir...more sense to have youth and college tightly linked.

**ok, im going to not go verbatim and try to make just solid points and thoughts now**

- always more learning to do for the rest of your life. from jh to youth, from youth to college, college to next.

- taf is a place for every step of the way. taf college is yet another place for us to discuss issues and problems for that age group.

- **Refinding and redefining. Refinding and redefining.**

- TAF is an idea and a place. An idea. An idea thats real.

- TAF treated as not only just a meat market (boo) but also just a reunion to see your friends, not a place to learn something new. But TAF has always been like that, very social.

- **Everything is gray folks. Its all relative**

- College is a bunch of different stages. Focuses are very diff from college freshman to college senior.

- Must be open minded to see how this works with Youth because of the great overlap with staff.

- Umm...basically...dont have college aged staffers be part of the college program at the same time. Ho wishes he had done just one or the other when he was youth camper and jh staffer long long ago. or maybe not.

ANYWAYS...tired. goodnight.